2.09.2010

The Tap Tabloid: Corey Hart Contract Negotiations Stall Over 'Shine

Milwaukee, WI - It seems quite obvious that the contract talks between Corey Hart and the Milwaukee Brewers have stalled, with a report that the Brewers have pulled their final offer off of the table. Seemingly, it appears both sides will end up in an arbitration hearing, which will be the first of Doug Melvin's tenure with the Brewers' organization.

"Nobody wants to go through these" said Doug Melvin in a classic understatement. In arbitration, the organization has to explain why a player ISN'T worth the money that they are asking for. This often leads to hard feelings towards the club and can have a negative effect on the player's performance and attitude.

Many times if a deal can't be worked out before a hearing is scheduled, it is over millions of dollars. For instance when the Phillies and Ryan Howard went to arbitration, the initial difference was $3 million! Even meeting in the middle, left Howard over $1 million short of what he felt he deserved. The arbitrator sided with Howard and he was given $10 million.

Hart's situation is different, Melvin, who often will try to meet somewhere in the middle to avoid a hearing leaves a minimal difference in salary. The hold up is actually over something else. A distillery to make moonshine.

"I don't think it is fair that the Brewers allow there to be a fridge filled with Miller beers for all the sissy's who can't handle their alcohol, but they won't allow me to distill my own 'shine!" Hart commented, adding that, "I checked, and shine ain't on the list of PEDs, though lord knows it should be with all of its miracle properties."

Doug Melvin declined to talk, citing that negotiations should remain private until an agreement is reached, but his Deputy, Ryan Braun, fresh after discussing Fielder's status with the club, said that, "I told Corey we could get a pretty dope Cristal waterfall-bubbler-thing, but he wasn't having that...he wouldn't even accept a kegerator, even after I promised to fill it with Beast Light (Milwaukee's Best Light)."

Corey's response was, "Doug told me 'shine was illegal, but if that's the case, how come everyone I know in Kentucky is drinking it? How come Hawkeye was always distilling at M*A*S*H 4077? That guy was on his A-game after a few drinks, and that wasn't even shine! There is always a jar in my locker, but it just isn't the same. I shine with my 'shine"

"Is that what (Hart) kept in that mason jar in his locker?" asked a puzzled Casey McGehee "I just thought it was for clearing your sinuses when you had a cold....I couldn't smell anything for a week after taking a whiff!"

Braun has recently stated that, "No way Doug and I are going to let Corey get a distillery to make moonshine....that shit reeks, I can't be going to Decibel after games when I'm near that shit... stinks up my Remetees."

As of now, a hearing seems imminent, but we will keep you posted as the situation progresses.

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