It is a well established fact that baseball players are known pranksters. So, on the holiest of days for pranksters, April Fools, what sort of shenanigans do ball players pull? I recently didn't sit down with some of the Brewers player, but if I had, here is what they might have told me.
Oh man, I L-U-V me some April Fools Days, and I am the master. Just this morning, I replaced Corey Hart's clothing with some crap I bought from Wal-Mart. Well, I didn't buy it, I paid some kid to, Ryan Braun doesn't step foot in a Wal-Mart! Anyways, Corey doesn't even realize he's been walking around wearing clothing from Wal-Mart! HAHAHA, oh man, I got him hella good. I don't think he even noticed that he is wearing, Wr (laughs), Wrang, (laughs), WRANGLERS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I like to keep it simple, basically all day I just pretend like I'm going to punch Manny Parra. Let me tell you, he flinches so much every time, it's great! I also called a left a threatening voice mail to Russell Martin of the Dodgers.
This morning first thing I did was call Doug Melvin up and told him I fell last night and re-injured my wrist. I don't think he liked that actually......I should probably avoid him.
I hung a dead opossum in Jim Edmonds' locker, and also filled his Nalgene bottle with some straight Kentucky moonshine. He'll get a pleasant surprise after his morning workout when he goes to take a drink of "water". I also deflated Jim's tires and egged his house. Oh, it's April Fools Day? Didn't even realize. Well, that still doesn't explain why someone would give me these sweet new threads? I mean, this might be the nicest shirt and jeans combo I've ever owned.
I promised my ex I'd send child support.
April Fools? Oh, I have a good one for you, watch this:
Counsell: "HEY BRAUNIE, ass-sphincter says what?"
Counsell: "AAAA HAHA, April Fools!"
Braun: "Good one Craig, 1992 called and would like their joke back."
I don't partake in such childish things. I'm busy today, trying to figure out how I can donate $12.5 million dollars back into the Milwaukee community. ... ... ... APRIL FOOLS! Nah, yeah, I'm keeping that money.
Shhh, keep this quiet, but before Coffey goes out to pitch, I'm putting some heat into his underwear.....I bet he sets a new sprinting record to the mound!
Ohhh, I suppose I could fool these boys. I think that maybe I'll go argue a call, make them think I'm actually going to get thrown out of a game. Then, right as I'm about to get run, I'll just turn around and walk back to the dugout. I never cease to amaze myself.