How did we get Here?

I'm staring at a blank page trying to find the words, the drive, the motivation.  But I keep rounding back to that one question - How did we get here?  How did we find ourselves in these circumstances, with this outcome, and this situation?  Like a dog chasing it's own tail, I just keep coming back to this unenviable question.

WIsconsin’s Paul Chryst Fired

You know it seemed like a good decision at the time, everything was changing.  Do you stick with the status quo and let it ride? Or do you give it the metaphorical "hold my beer" and take a swing for the fences?  I made my choice, like many people my age.  Take the big swing, chase the premier outcome.  But how did we get here?

Badgers hire Luke Fickell

Thing is sometimes that big swing gets exactly what you expected, and what you expected just isn't as good as what you really wanted.  Was it still the right move?  Probably.  Something had to give.  Something had to change.  But what if this wasn't the change to make?  Or what if there was a better option out there in the world?  You can't live in the decisions you didn't make however.

Starting Quarterback Van Dyke Injured

And then it starts to go a way nobody expected, forces outside of your control determine a direction.  I don't think that anybody could have truly seen this outcome.  All the right calls on paper, all the wrong outcomes in reality.  A devastation the likes of which you can't wrap your head around, and you struggle to understand how this became fact.  But how did we get here?

Bucky Fires Offensive Coordinator Longo

So you start course correcting, trying to find a path that leads you in the direction that feels right, trying to find your way back to that version of yourself that you remember.  Striding down a path with an uncertain future because what the hell else are you going to do?

Badgers Face Transfer Portal Exodus

But the hits keep coming, and you start questioning yourself.  Was it the right call?  Can you always go home again?  Maybe you can but it will never feel the same.  Like Sisyphus pushing that boulder, no matter how close you get it's just a matter of time before it rolls back down to the bottom of hill.  Then come the questions. Was it the right call?  What's the future that our choices hold?  Is that a future that we want?  Is that a future that I want?

How did I get here?

It's something I've been asking myself a lot lately.  Be it the consequences of time's passage, the constant changes in my surroundings, or the impossible realization of being halfway through my time on this earth.  How did I get here?  In this set of circumstances, with the set of outcomes, and this set of surroundings.  None of this is how I envisioned it.  None of this is what 22-year-old me saw his future being.

Is it bad?  I can't answer that, time speeds up as you get older, so I'm sure the time will come that I can wax poetically about this era of my life and look back on all things with rose colored glasses.  But as you live through a rough year (years?) those glasses are decidedly less tinted.

Is it good?  Almost certainly not, but as they say - the night is always darkest before the dawn.  And I'll view my next years forging the path in front of me in much in much the same way those lifelong Badger fans will.

With patience, with positivity, and for fuck's sake - with a whole lot of optimism.  Because when I tire of asking the question how did I get here, I have no choice but to ask the question - how do I get there?  And it's time to ask that question.